Being Analytical Will Make You Better at Everything but Being Happy: a user guide on converting your emotions into binary code

by Therapy Session

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about

Being Analytical Will Make You Better at Everything but Being Happy: a user guide on converting your emotions into binary code, is a double album (Pt. 1: Perception & Pt. 2: Perspective) totaling 21 songs, plus a bonus 5 song EP (Projections & Reflections) of b-sides that were cut from the album exclusively for people who purchase the full album through Bandcamp.
Written, produced and performed by Joel Michalak, this album has been in the works on and off since the release of Therapy Session's debut album Burning Bridges & Building Walls.

The album is a concept album exploring dualities of the human condition, existential nihilism, and ugly truths surrounding the idealistic, romanticized version of true/unconditional love.

credits

released October 11, 2016

The album was entirely written, produced, performed, mixed and mastered by Joel Michalak, except for the following guest appearances:

Honorary Therapy Session member Carlos Landaverde on drums for the songs "Cards" and "Explosion or a Plan",

Joe Fraley and Sebastian A. Bach back up vocals on Unconditionally, Start, and Coldest Day (b-sides disk)

Jean Marie Delkhaste performing back up vocals on Unconditionally, American Dream, Start, and Coldest Day (b-sides disk)

Alaska Reid performing vocals on Replace Me When You Can (b-sides disk)

Special thanks to Carlos Landaverde and Simon Brown who helped hammer out the live versions of some of these songs, which ultimately influenced the direction a few of the songs took.

Cover art created by Joel Michalak using an MRI scan of his brain and a photo of the galaxy NGC 6503, AKA "The Lonely Galaxy Lost in Space," Courtesy of NASA, ESA, D. Calzetti (University of Massachusetts), H. Ford (Johns Hopkins University), and the Hubble Heritage Team.

This album is dedicated to Evelyn.

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Track Name: Unconditionally
You said baby, I envy you
'cause I'll love you no matter what you do
You were a stray dog all on your own
I took you in and gave you a home

You said baby, I love you
No matter what you do
I just ask that you'll love me
Completely unconditionally


So even though you know you don't You say you do
Even though you know you don't You say you do
So even if I know I don't I say I do
So even though we know we don't We say we do

'cause no one wants to hear
What we all do fear
But we've all had to face the truth
When their love is yours, it's yours to lose

So baby, I love you
Depending on what you do
I just ask that you'll love me
At least until you're not what I need
Track Name: American Dream
Whispers from God in your dreams
Told you you're where you need to be
That must feel so comforting
But it's not something I could believe

-Though it's everything you need-

You said we can't be all alone
We can't just be flesh and bone
We need a place where we belong
Even when we're dead and gone

You found a lover; makes you feel weak in the knees
You went out and bought a diamond ring
You bought the house; had the family
But I never bought the American Dream

-Though it's everything you need-

Now you'll never be alone
You have a lover to call you home
If I need a place to belong
I'll just write another song

No place has ever felt like home
So it's always easy for me to go
You’re probably lucky if you can't understand
Why I'd rather hold a guitar than a lovers hand
Track Name: Fickle Lover Blues
Well you always had the talent
But you always had the blues
Guess there's just some things
You never seem to lose
The wheels keep on spinning
But your world just won't move
Carrying all that baggage
Has worn down your shoes

The problem keeps repeating
Perfection fades with time
You’ll love me one day
But then you'll change your mind
And you've got your reasons
Though I'll never know why
'cause there are thousands of reasons T
o stay or say goodbye


Add it up like a math equation
Till the sums a perfect two
But emotions change like the wind,
So logic has no use
It all gets so complicated
With the fickle lover blues
My emotions into ones and zeros
Yours into walking shoes

We only get more complicated
As our hearts get drug through time
You’ve never loved anyone
Just an image in your mind
And you've got your reasons
Though I'll never know why
'cause there are thousands of reasons
To stay or say goodbye

You had checked your bags
And got on another flight
You thought you had found the one
So you stayed the night
But the problem keeps repeating
A different person; a different time
We’ve all made our mistakes
You were one of mine

I know that you're leaving -
Though we’ve had better times
There were thousands of things you loved
But now nothing comes to mind
Track Name: Start
Out of my mind and into your bed
All the attention just went to my head
Guess that it's fine, 'cause I'd do it again
Take all this caution, throw it to the wind

And it's alright
If I stay just tonight
Or the rest of my life
One step at a time

Then out of my head and into your heart
It’s the first brush stroke of a work of art
I always dread how it falls apart
But you can't fear the ending, you just have to start
Track Name: Hollywood Endings
We'll see what's inside
When all the glitter and shine
Of Hollywood gets washed away
And a friend who never lied
Will sell your secrets to buy
The affection of strangers and a moment of fame

I never felt as close to you -
As when
Everyone else had let me down.
'cause I thought you'd never do
The things to leave me feeling used
Well I'm feeling abandoned now.

I think that it's time
That I
Disappear
'cause I can't keep trying
Always to remind you
That I'm here

So maybe it's dishonest
To pretend I'm moving on with
My life, and I don't need you or anyone
So I'm taking the fifth
When I'm asked if I miss
A time when to be happy, to you I would run.


Well it's time
To accept what is mine
And stop basing my happiness on you
Or I may find
You will never change your mind
And I will always be singing the blues

Well if you really need me
Come find me dear
But I can't keep trying
Always to remind you
That I'm here


'cause these story books I've read
All have led
Me to feel
That there are happy endings
But they're really always just pending
Appeals

Well falling in love isn't always followed by happy ever after
Sometimes you just fell
And story book pages
Fade outs in romance movies
End sooner than their stories would tell
And these movies I've watched
Have taught me to want
And to feel
That there are happy endings
But they're really always pending
Appeals


So fade out then cut to
Our hero has disappeared
And if his love doesn't try to find him
It will on reveal
what I fear.
Track Name: Grand Romantic Gestures
If the grand romantic gestures
Always seem to fail
I guess I better find
A new kind of love to sell

And it’s true
You were starry eyed when I met you
Was it me you saw or just a fantasy

You found romance
While looking up at the midnight sky
But at noon you’d shade your eyes and hide under the trees

If the grand romantic gestures
Always seem to fail
I guess I better find
A new kind of love to sell

And it’s true
We value more what we think we’ll loose
You’re only wishing on shooting stars
I changed the tides
When I brought you back the moon
So you went sailing off into the dark


If the grand romantic gestures
Always seem to fail
I guess I better find
A new kind of love to sell

If the grand romantic gestures A
lways seem to fail
I guess I better find
A new kind of love to sell
‘cause while the grand romantic gestures
Always seem to fail
If you keep alive a fantasy
You always will prevail
Track Name: The Ruse
If I can't have what I want,
I guess I'll take the runner up
'cause with this game of "all or nothing",
I'm through
So when I lie and say I want no one else
I'll keep the truth to myself,
Or I'll be left alone
And you’ll feel used


So I'm just an actor in your play
So I won't be the rain on your parade

I know you have to pretend
Like all of this will never end
Just to continue
To prove

That there's a love that exist
Where all your flaws vanish
But your love’s just a blindfold
You named the truth

So I'm just an actor in your play
So I won't be the rain on your parade

And if you want to lie to yourself
I'll join in like everyone else
'cause I know you'll take happiness over the truth
But for me, I face facts
I take the options that I have
And right now I've got nothing to lose

-And neither do you
So we've got nothing to lose

I thought I just had no luck
Then I learned to just shut up
And let you fill in silence
With your ruse

It seemed to make us happy enough
Not that you notice what I really want
Or you'd see you're just all I have
Not what I choose

So I'm just an actor in your play
So I won't be the rain on your parade
I'll go where I'm welcome
And if I'm welcome to stay
I'll play by your rules
And I'll stay in my cage
Track Name: Complete Perfection
What you’ve got, I want
But not enough to change
This puzzle’s a jigsaw
With one flaw
It’s easy to rearrange

-and rearrange-

So I pushed it all away
I just pushed it all away
'cause when you have it all,
it feels like a cage
So I pushed it all away

What you saw
Were the lines you'd draw
When I was only blank
I was whole before
I was told there's more
And was put in my place

-I must be put in my place-
-But I can't stay in one place-

So I ran away
I just ran away
I might as well lie in my grave
If I have to stay in one place

Well, if I had never known
That I was all alone
Would I long to know
What it feels like to call you home

What I said before It can't be either/or
There must be something between

'cause it means so much more
When there's an open door
Yet you stay with me
Track Name: Time
If there’s a winner
Then someone must lose
It cuts deeper
When she has to choose

If chances were endless
I wouldn’t feel so used
If life’s not fair
Why play by the rules

If timing is everything, I’ll wait

I wish I had something to lose
‘cause then I’d be cautious
When I have to choose
Well I had a chance
Now I’m asking for two
‘cause I know you love me
I just have to prove - it to you.

If timing is everything I’ll wait
I’ll wait for you

I wish I had something to lose
Track Name: Plot Points
What happens is I see through
To what plot points lead to
Never predicting anything new
No matter what you do
The story's been done too

But I hope it's not true


Because it’d be a shame
If it's all just the same
Repeat with new names
But no story's new


It's tragic I'm used to
It's comedy to get through
And still have a reason to continue
It's too good to be true
It’s fiction I've escaped to

But I hope that's not true (At least not with you)

Because it'd be a shame
If it's all the same
Repeat with new names
But no story's new

And all the stories written are reused
But the irony's lost when it's assumed
That things will play out as they do
Nothing’s leaned if you fooled this fool

So it's a shame
If this ends the same
This story can't change
I'm always doomed

And the cynics will say
Nothing perfect is made
So you know how this plays
No story is new

But I hope that's not true
At least not with you
Track Name: Never Start the Fire
I spent my life
Trying to do what's right
But a gift just might
Be a burden too
I made you my wife
When you just wanted one night
To let the loneliness subside In you

So now I do my best to never start the fire
'cause I lack control over my desires
I dream together, we could leave
But just my imagination runs away with me

I miss the touch
But not enough
To dig what's buried up in me
And if you called my bluff
That I could never love
Don’t you dare crush
What I hid deep

I used to lay my heart at your feet
But now I'd rather turn and retreat
If I love you, I never want to burden you
So I will spend my days in solitude

I missed the chance
At that second glance
I should have advanced
But it feels doomed
Don't repeat the past
Even the sun won't last
But the heat is back
With the morning dew
Track Name: Cards
All I have is what I'm dealt,
I do my best to build a house
And who walks in makes it a home
But that's something you cannot own

No, you’ll never have it all
This house of cards is bound to fall

What killed the cat is all I have
Keeping me from choosing death
Tarot cards and crystal balls
May lead to scales with grim results

‘cause I’ll know I'll never have it all
Must find happiness in faults
But how much is enough
To keep me from giving up

It's only chance and circumstance
You’ll find happiness and romance
But we're only entitled to a death
And that card up my sleeve may be all I have left

I can’t say
I wouldn’t walk away
‘cause I know
There may be a time when I’ll choose to go.
Track Name: Beauty's Last Kiss
You asked me if I'm alright
I don't know what that means
And no one should be tortured by
These emotions but me
So I smile and hide behind a joke
It’s become my routine
There are so many ways to cope
With never achieving a dream

Well I caught myself running again
No direction, at full speed
If I slow down my mind races
And never fails to remind me
That no matter how far I stray
The rivers all flow to the seas
I would love for you to stay
But things will return to the way they must be

Beauty's last kiss is a sting
Still we pass with hopes to collide
'cause you could make me feel anything
And right now I want to die

-But I want to feel alive-

I want to feel anything other
Than what just came over
Me
Give me a kiss to believe in
'cause I don't have a reason
To breathe

You ask me if I'm alright

I don't know what that means
And no one should be tortured by
These emotions but me
So I smile and hide behind a joke
It’s become all I can be
There’s not so many ways to cope
With not getting what you need
Track Name: Broken Strings
I taught you to swim
And you let me drown
I gave her my heart
And she shot me down
Now when you draw blood
I just paint the stars
'cause we're all connected
By these scars

Love never seems real in memories
I always wake from nightmares at the end of dreams
I loved that feeling while in your arms
So now I try to play it on my guitar

I write songs
No one wants to hear
'cause I'm full of pain
No one wants to feel
It’s another drug
To substitute
That feeling that
I had with you

But nothing feels as real
As self-deceit
I lie to myself
While you lie with me
"All you need is love,"
Was your solution
But it's always come
With some delusion

Chase a feeling
You can never keep
From broken hearts
To broken strings
Film and paint
Tape and clay

Try to hold onto a moment
That got away

I want to believe
Something good can last
But there's no proof of it
In my past
All I've built
Gets torn apart
My connection to you
Is a work of art
Track Name: Too Numb to Feel
Well I fell hard and just never got up
‘cause you were a pill when I needed a crutch

Living on the streets- vomit on his clothes,
He asked me for change
I said I can't provide to you sir,
The will to seize the day
He said his heart was broken,
And it was never resolved
So now around the bottle,
I see his life is revolved

Well, I'd been wondering so I asked, if life's a burden or a gift
He smiled at me and said, "Depends how you're handling it."

‘cause I've been thinking,
Of putting a needle in my vein
To find an addiction,
I can sustain
He said "You'll never get that same feeling,
But if you're just too neurotic to love,
Then sit right here with me boy,
And take that drug."

-“And give up.”-

"Well, we've all got out problems,"
I say, "I know I've got mine.
And nothing is ever resolved,
we’re just buying or wasting our time."
So he asked me, if life's a burden or if it's a gift
I said, "Sometimes I'm happy, and sometimes I feel like shit."

Well I don't like the feeling, when she's not around
So doc gives me feelings that aren't my own
I don't like the feeling, when she's not around
So they pump me full of feelings that aren't my own

Best find a better way to deal
‘cause we all want to be happy or too numb to feel
But when you decide you'd rather feel nothing than a chance of pain You’ve already stepped one foot in the grave

You’re one foot in the grave
I'm one foot in the grave
Track Name: Sunny Day
When it's all just distractions
To keep death of my mind
They're not reasons to live
Just things to occupy time
If I could, I would give up
But there's a glimmer of hope
And I want that life so badly
That I'm willing to cope


'cause a sunny day
Can get me through a month of rain
A sunny day
Can get me through a month of rain

And when I have nothing
I'll think of a day like this
And against all the pointless suffering
The scale still seems to tip

'cause a sunny day
Can get me through a month of rain
A sunny day
Can get me through a month of rain
A sunny day
Knows just how much I can take
'cause a sunny day
Is never too far away
Track Name: Love & Nihilism
Maybe you were right
When you said all we need is love
But you never mentioned
How rare the true kind comes

I wish I knew where I was going
And if I'll be smiling when I'm there
All I know is I'm unhappy
Staying here

So I’m waiting
For something to happen
But then I'm just always waiting
For something to happen
For things to change-

And when did our water
And when did our blood
Turn into poisons
That can steal our lives from us
So we put our guard up
Afraid to be touched
’cause someone might hurt you - darling
So they can take what they want

So I'm always trying
to limit the pain
’cause how can you be happy
When no one around you can feel the same
But then I'm just always waiting
on someone else to wake
’cause love is selflessness,
it's not just something you say.
And yes, we need to love to be loved
And still stay selfish enough to survive
So these people keep lying to me
To keep me alive

Maybe you were right
When you said all we need is love
But you never mentioned
How rare the true kind comes
Track Name: Explosion or a Plan
Well no one knows how we got into this mess
But they're eager to tell you, how you ought to live
An explosion or a plan
Neither explanation would change who I am

And you're still searching for why we exist
'cause it's hard when you feel lonely on this big planet
With the vastness of space and you're still stuck here
And you think an explanation would change how I feel

But when I'm with her I don't care if planets collide
I need no other reason for being alive

I'm just grateful for every breath
From the vastness of space to the emptiness
That would chill through my bones
And leave me with this weight
It’s all been lifted,
She always takes its place

So I'll take every breath into my lungs
Be grateful for every moment that comes
Because she's reason enough to need another day
She’s reason enough,
But she went away

So I guess I'll subscribe that it's all left to chance
‘cause it all seems pointless without her in the plan
Track Name: The Truth
Easy answers are easy to sell
With promise of gifts or fear of hell
Men who claim the truth is out
Can’t all be right so I have my doubts
They’re just afraid of uncertainty
I accepted it at seventeen
That’s when I knew how little we know
And we’re all just afraid of being alone

So anyone that says
They know what’s best
They’re lying to you
They’re lying to you

The vastness of space and time
Makes you a spec in and infinite line
Purpose means there’s a reason for this,
But you find your own meaning in why you exist
In every person you ever affect
Compassion and love will all come back
It’s as simple as you reap what you sow
But maybe I’m wrong.
What do I know?

So anyone that says
They know what’s best
They’re lying to you
They’re lying to you
Because there are so many ways
To make mistakes
And what’s true to you
Is just true to you

We now know we’re not at the center
But we kept the sense of self-entitlement
As if you could choose your rightful place
But it’s selfish to die and selfish to live
And your confident claim to know
What is right and wrong
Is just your desperate attempt to feel
That you are where you belong

But what’s true to you
Is just true to you
So anyone that says
They know what’s best
They’re lying to you
They’re lying to you
Because there are so many ways
To make mistakes
And what’s true to you
Is just true to you
Track Name: Scars
Can’t give up
But must give up
On ideals
Or I’ll never be
Satisfied with
How I feel

And we keep hoping
All will go
As we’ve planned
But the universe
Won’t yield to
Our demands


Well nothing last forever
So best you get used to watching it all fall apart
From your first love, to every endeavor
There’s an end to all you start

Everyone you know
They will go
Keep thinking she won’t
Or maybe he won’t


But no one lives forever
So best you get used to watching it all fall apart
From your first love, to every endeavor
There’s an end to all you start

And if you want to be remembered
You can try to leave your mark
But headstones all will crumble
And it won’t matter when it all goes dark

Still we continue to build
And tear down
In hopes to find a purpose
Or maybe to be found
Still all I love is vincible
So I am willing to bleed
I’ll spend a lifetime waiting
For someone to say to me:

“Please don’t go.”
“Please don’t go.”

Well I can’t live forever
So I’m getting used to watching myself falling apart
Still I try to make things better
And they are with you in my arms
And this is all that really matters
To experience beauty through love and art
’cause I will go the way I entered
With empty hands, but now a heavy heart

And we’ll have our scars.
Track Name: Notes from Underground
If I could
I guess I should
Stay a little while
At least a little while
'cause it's understood
That all that's good
Are said with a little smile
At least a little smile

You got my heart beating again
Only thing certain is closing curtains
You said "nice to meet you", with a smile
So I thought I should stay for a while

... at least a little while

'cause it's understood
That nothing good
Comes from always hiding out
There are so many routes

Till when they’ll drain your blood
And those who did and never loved
Will both be underground
So don't wait around

Don’t wait around.